LESSON 4 OF 6
Structure that holds attention
BY THE END OF THIS LESSON
Open so the first line earns the second.
You are not competing on quality
You are competing against a thumb moving up a screen. A brilliant third paragraph is worth nothing if the first line reads like a warm-up.
Delete the warm-up
Most drafts — human and AI — spend the first two sentences clearing their throat. "In today's competitive landscape, businesses are increasingly looking for ways to..."
Try this: delete the first two sentences of your draft and read what is left. It is usually a better opening. The warm-up was you working out what you wanted to say, and the reader does not need to watch that.
Three openings that work
The number. "Retention went from 70% to 95%. Here is the fifteen-minute change."
The contradiction. "Our best onboarding document was making people quit."
The moment. "Two people resigned in the same week and gave the same reason."
All three do the same job: they create a gap the reader wants closed.
WORKED EXAMPLE
WARM-UP OPENING
Employee onboarding is one of the most important processes in any organisation. Getting it right can have a significant impact on retention, engagement and long-term performance. In this post, I want to share some thoughts on what we have learned.
STRAIGHT IN
Two people resigned in the same week and gave the same reason: they had no idea whether they were doing well.
The first tells the reader nothing they did not know and spends three sentences announcing that a post is about to happen. The second opens a gap — what reason? what happened next? — and the only way to close it is to keep reading.
YOUR TURN
Test whether your opening is doing any work.
RUN THIS
Here is my draft. First: delete the first two sentences and show me what is left. Is it a better opening? Say so honestly. Then give me three alternative first lines — one built on a number, one on a contradiction, one on a specific moment. For each, tell me what question it puts in the reader's head. Draft: [paste yours]
What a good result looks like
If it cannot name the question an opening raises, that opening raises none. Discard it.
KNOWLEDGE CHECK
Answer all 2 correctly to complete this lesson.
1. What is usually wrong with the first two sentences of a draft?
2. What do effective openings have in common?
REMEMBER THIS
Delete the first two sentences — your real opening is usually underneath them.